Secret of the easy yoke

I hadn’t heard this song in a long time and then a cover of it came on my Pandora radio application. It always makes me sad. Mostly because it paints such an accurate picture of so many peoples experiences in church. I think I will be praying for Dave Bazan.

Pretending to be Rich... or am I?

So after church this past Sunday I decided to hangout downtown and grab some lunch. I ended up in the mall just walking around. It’s one of those malls where only rich people actually buy anything. One of those malls that looks down on stores like the Gap… Well after I ate my Chinese food I wanted something sweet. Right about that time I walked by Godiva Chocolate and they were dipping macaroons the size of my fist into chocolate. So I obviously had to go in! I knew I couldn’t afford any of the boxes of chocolate but they sell the individual truffles so I thought yeah that’s in my price range. So I acted like I often bought chocolate from there and picked out three beautiful truffles. So the nice lady ringed me up. My total was almost eight dollars! That was more than my lunch cost. I was thinking like a three dollars or something! I honestly thought about running out of the store but I didn’t so I handed over my debit card. I am not above it though. (I walked into a restaurant the other day and their food looked terrible so I acted like I got a phone call and walked out) I then walked around Saks Fifth avenue and looked at Gucci pants while eating my Godiva truffles. I pretended I was rich for fifteen minutes. Then I walked to my car and past twelve homeless people.


For the first time in my life I am beginning to engage Theology. I mean I have been studying it for the past three years and now I am in Seminary but for the first time I am doing it on my own accord. I have been praying for the past few months that God would give me a desire for his Word and Theology. It’s happening. How about that? God answered a prayer. To bad it wasn’t the one about that money or that girl back in Tennessee. This is pretty good too.

Coming out of the School of Religion at Lee University still believing in God is quite an accomplishment. I don’t mean to make an overstatement here but I know a lot of people who started the program who really loved and followed Jesus but now they don’t believe it anymore. It makes me sad and even more than that it scares me. I am okay with my faith being challenged and shaped by my study but I refuse to let the deeper knowledge and study of my God push me away from the thing I am endeavoring to understand. I was reading one of the early church fathers on the Trinity the other day and Gregory of Nazianzus said this:

“Theology, while employing the mind, also involves the heart. A pure heart, one grounded in the worship of the church and a life of prayer, will produce clear and fruitful theological reflection. A murky heart and a dark mind, on the other hand, will produce a sick, thorny theology; it will offer no nourishment, only harm.”

That’s what I want, a pure heart that is grounded in a life of prayer and a life of worship. A high and holy task. May God give us peace and Clarity.

Grace & Peace

Currently Listening: Taylor Swift – Fearless (one of the best albums of 2008)
Ray LaMontagne – Gossip in the Grain
Viva La Hova – Jay-z and Coldplay
Currently Reading: The Mystery and Wonder of the Trinity – Christopher A. Hall

Plundering the Cause

A pastor I like a lot asked a question the other day in an interview, “What do you do when your institution is known for a bunch of things that you don’t want to be known for?”

The Christian faith is one established on Love of God and others. Why then is Christianity in America viewed as?

• Unforgiving
• Hypocritical
• Homophobic
• Fear mongering
• Consumerism
• Bigotry

Because of or in spite of these stereotypes a new Christianity, or should I say an old Christianity, is emerging. A people seeking to reestablish the authority of the Church not through power or riches but by joining the God of the oppressed, joining those on the other side of power. I heard it described like a Eucharist (the act of communion) that we will be broken and poured out in love simply because Jesus said so.


The second most famous Buddhist in the world is Richard Gere, second to the Dalai Lama, said about a year ago, “I keep having this image that Jesus Christ is here and now among us and he is watching what is being done and he is appalled.”

With every action we are communicating whether or not we believe the tomb is empty.
The resurrection is a way of life.

May we proclaim this truth with every word and every deed.

Truth.

“The Kingdom of God is truth and it plunders any cause. Truth belongs to God. The Kingdom of God is anywhere the rule and reign of God is expanding on earth. Embrace the Kingdom.”



I miss my friends tonight. I wish I were at that coffee shop on Inman Street sitting with them. It isn’t possible today and that will have to be ok for right now. But until then I will dream that we are together tonight. I am proud of them.

Adventures in Odyssey

So I have found the perfect way to pass the time as I work. Focus on the Family pod-casts. So now I just walk around vacuuming while crying. Though I don't agree 100% with his tactics the stories they tell on there are so heartbreaking/warming. I cry alot now.

Lovers Less Wild

Well the truth is that I am rarely ever truly satisfied. Whether it’s the biscuits and gravy I ordered from PineState or the city I moved across the country for. They all seem to fall short and surprise they never solve my problems. It’s ridiculous to expect a biscuit to solve your problems, right? Well yeah it is but I have been so desperately wanting a piece of the south and though they did have sweet tea it most definitely was not southern food. Anyway the point is I am constantly let down. The next thing always turns out to be lacking and I move on to the next thing. This was a strong pattern in my life when I lived in Tennessee. I had all these ideas of what would make my life better. Sometimes I wouldn’t get what I wanted but the problem came when I did. The problem was that once I got it I saw the wizard for what he really was. It was disappointing.

For instance I went to this relatively conservative Christian University in Tennessee that had these “Greek clubs” (sudo- fraternities/sororities). Even before I was a student I knew I wanted to be in one of these clubs, there was this desperate feeling to want to be apart of something. So finally I got into one and don’t get me wrong this was seriously one of the best experiences of my life but let me tell you it didn’t satisfy me. Once I was in I moved onto wanting something else and that happened to be getting into one of the girl clubs as a big brother. That was awesome but that lost its luster about a month into it (maybe if I would have got into the one I wanted the luster might have lasted longer – probably not). Here I was with my Greek club dream life and I wasn’t satisfied and I found myself looking for my next fix. This is just a stupid example of how my life has worked so far.
So I keep asking the question to myself, “what is missing?”

Philippians 4:11 Paul writes, “I have learned to be CONTENT whatever the circumstances.”

By the way Paul really had no reason to content. He was in prison. This wasn’t a nice prison with a basketball court and a cafeteria. This was a cave with a hole for an opening that he was lowered into. I got a chance to visit this prison when I was in Rome this past semester and it was unbelievable and for Paul to say he is content and happy makes no sense. If you have read any of the letter to the Philippian church Paul’s joy is undeniable. So here is where I am having trouble. This didn’t sit well with me at all. Here I was well fed, rich, free, and unsatisfied, and Paul was in chains, hungry, lacking, and satisfied.

What’s wrong with this picture? So much.

Philippians 4:12-13 Paul continues, “I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hand full or hand empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.”

Everyday I look right past the cross for the thing or person who is going to make everything ok. Satisfaction is not capable apart from Christ.

“No person, endeavor, thrill, formula, or achievement is capable of delivering what we all crave deep within… what if we were content with God’s perfect love and were free to give love rather than constantly maneuvering to get it?” – Jim Palmer

My life has been a series of maneuvers to receive love. I am constantly going out of the way to get instead of giving. We are all searching. The human desire to discover the mystery is at the core of our being. But little do we know that what we are searching for is already within us.

Colossians 1:26-27, “The mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations… It’s Christ in you.”

I have been learning a lot since I have been in Portland. Slowly but surely all the layers of inessentials are being stripped away. I am learning to be content with empty hands and heart full. I don’t have it all figured out yet because it’s a process or maybe a journey. God is helping me see that I no longer have to buy into the lies that I need things to be satisfied. I don’t. Let me tell you about the apartment I live in. The first thing I bought when I got here was a mattress. For a few weeks that was the only thing I had. Then we found a free couch on the side of a road, and then an old TV, then my roommate bought a table for six dollars. That’s it. That’s all we have and you know what it is so much more than we actually need. So we laugh when we are watching our old TV and we see these commercial screaming at us that we need their product or we need to call this number to find love. It’s not true. It is simply a lie.

“I am prone to depend on circumstances to supply something that only God himself within me can give. When it all falls apart, and I’m left sitting through the rubble of life’s disappointments, difficulties and disasters, God whispers, “I AM what you’re looking for.” He’s the satisfaction I’ve been searching for. He is not hard to locate; He is inside me.” –Jim Palmer

The lovers less wild will always disappoint. There is one and one alone who has what we need. Stop looking out and look inside. He is there waiting.

Psalms 42:7
Deep calls to deep
In the roar of your waterfalls;
All your waves and breakers
Have swept over me.

We have so much of it that we poop in it.

Last week I was hired as a janitor at my seminary. My title is actually physical plant staff but I have no allusions of grandeur for I am a Janitor. I learned a lesson a few summers back from a pastor I worked with that no work is below me. Being a janitor is noble work and I will forever respect the millions of people who clean up after everyone else. But anyway I have been spending a lot of time around toilets the last few weeks and I have been thinking about water; more specifically clean water. Over 1 billion people do not have access to it. I have plenty. It’s all around me. In fact it’s raining, but that’s normal because I live in the Northwest. But seriously I have so much of what so many lack. It is mind blowing. Every fifteen seconds a child dies from water related diseases. That’s insane.

Maybe I will create a toilet that uses sand… pooping in sand doesn’t sound so bad.
Cats do it.



“How can we go on spending obscene amounts on budgets of death and destruction, knowing full well that a minute fraction of these would insure that children everywhere would have clean water to drink? These are our sisters and brothers out there, not statistics.”

—Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Currently listening to: The Witching Hour and the Majic Tusk by The Witching Hour

Something more

Out of all the teachings of Christ one statement haunts me more than any other. Jesus said that we would do greater things than He did. Is the church doing greater things than Jesus? Maybe if we are looking at the amount of money, or how big are buildings are, or how many TV shows we have; then yeah sure maybe we are doing greater things than Jesus. But somehow I don’t think that’s exactly what he had in mind.
If we want a clear picture of what I think Jesus was talking about we need to look to Luke 7, John sent his disciples to ask Jesus if he was the one the were waiting for. Jesus simply responded in verse 22, “the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor.” This stuff was happening and on a regular basis! When was the last time you saw a dead person alive? Sure these kinds of things happen in different movements around the world where God moves in amazing ways but they happen far and few between. When they do happen the Church deifies the movement and flocks to the location desperate for a move of God but only end up worshiping the man/women and half the time the movement is inseparably locked in controversy. Why aren’t these things happening everyday inside and out the church walls?
A few months ago I was watching TV late at night and every so often my curiosity makes me see what’s on the Christian channels. I came across a strange sight that caught my attention. There was this fat guy with tattoos on stage doing some sort of healing service in a Benny Hinn like style, so I watched for a while. People were claiming to be healed left and right. The preacher was taking his time with each person pushing them down and picking them up over and over again. I grew up in the Pentecostal tradition so this was nothing new to me. I was a little skeptical but I was truly hoping that the people were really being healed. As I was thinking this, a boy was carried on stage that changed everything. He was visibly crippled; his legs and arms were all bent up and gnarled. My first thought was alright preacher man lets see if you’re the real thing, sure this probably wasn’t the best attitude to have but never the less. The preacher walked up to the boy touched his head and said, “Lord continue the healing that he wants” and then he walked to the other side of the stage to pray for the next person. By the time the camera got back to that side of the stage the boy was gone. I got angry.

My spirit was so grieved I wanted to weep. I wanted to weep for the unhealed boy, for the preacher, and for everybody in that civic center who forgot about the boy moments after he was on the stage. It broke my heart. I will never forget it.

Why wasn’t he healed? Why is the Church living below par of what we are capable of? These were the questions that plagued me for the weeks following the night I saw the boy on TV. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I don’t trust Jesus.

I have never really had to trust Jesus. If I was sick I went to the doctor or took medicine. If I were hungry I would go to my refrigerator filled with food. I have never really needed Jesus to provide for me because I could get it myself. The majority of Christians in America have never really had to trust Jesus. My friend Chris used to visit the elderly at a retirement home. He used to visit this one lady on a regular basis and she told him a story about a time she almost cut her hand off. They had no access to medical care so her mother grabbed a cloth and a bible. Her mother prayed and read a verse out of revelation and her hand was absolutely healed. She said this was a regular occurrence in their house. They were forced to trust Jesus and He came through for them every time. I don’t even come close to knowing what it is like to have to completely trust God for provision. If I’m hurt, hungry, or need money… I have hundreds of options. The questions is:

Is our comfort, our security, and our safety standing in the way of what Jesus has called us to do?

To do the great things that we are capable of requires great risk and trust. Think of Peter when he asked Jesus to help him walk on the water. Before anybody or I can trust Jesus we have to ask some fundamental questions.

Do we believe that God is good?

In C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles the children hear about a lion named Aslan and they asked a crucial question, is he safe? They are answered with a, “no he isn’t safe but he is good”. The good news of the gospel isn’t safe but it’s good. It is called the narrow road for a reason… the Christian life is not a life of ease. Oh but it is so easy to get sucked into the world’s idea of good. It’s so attractive that it has been entwined with the western version of the gospel.

We have to believe that His better is better.

What is it that is stopping us from trusting Jesus? What are we holding onto that is stopping us from stepping into the power that Jesus promised his disciples on his last few days on earth?

We are not alone. He is among us and He is alive.


John 14:27
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”