It’s raining here in Los Angeles. That doesn’t happen to often around these parts. I find myself once again in the middle of a transition. Transitions are hard and as far as I am concerned they certainly aren’t fun. Though I have a pretty strong feeling that I am not alone on this one and that someone is behind it all. I started by writing about my experiences out here so far; a page or two into I decided to delete it. I am note sure why but I didn’t like what I was writing. I am beginning to establish a life here and it’s strange. I am often tempted to compare it with my old life but then I have to stop and remind myself that these new experiences are not going to be like my old ones. It doesn’t mean that they will be any better or worse but they will be different.
I no longer live with two of my best friends in a house on Gary Street in Tennessee with my two other best friends down the road. Now I live with a Latino guy from Chicago named Marcos, a black brother named Brycen, and a Guatemalan who doesn’t speak English named Boanettus! I am now affectionately referred to as the white brother.
I have been offered two student pastor positions at churches but have turned them both down for no other reason than I didn’t feel like that is where God wanted me. Those were hard decisions but the ones that had to be made.
I am starting to feel more grown up but at the same time I am beginning to feel young again.
2008 was a very strange year.
I started it by moving to Cambridge, England. In those three months I discovered out quite a bit about myself. I spent most of my time there thinking about a girl.
I came back to Tennessee only to fall for that girl and then to have my heart broken again, my fault of course. I took a class on the spirit and then I graduated college.
I moved to Portland, Oregon with my new friend from Cambridge. I started graduate school where I soon discovered I don’t care much for physcology. I got to journey with my roommate through some difficult questions. Mine were answered. He is still waiting.
I met and loved many people in Oregon but in the end I needed to leave.
I moved to Los Angeles where I am now studying Theology. My roommate moved to Ireland where he is now gardening.
Things I learned in 2008:
God is in control. Sovereign. good.
I am not as strong as I thought.
I am much stronger than I thought.
I love my Family.
I miss my friends.
I want to be a pastor more than ever.
I do not want to be a counselor.
And its ok to doubt and worry about it all.
I dreamed a lot this year. More than usual. I have strange scary dreams, dreams that make my heart hurt in a good way, dreams about my grandfather, reoccurring dreams about a girl named Sarah. I barely know her and I dream about at least once every other week.
Important Music of 2008:
Ray Lamontagne
Wild Sweet Orange
James Taylor
The weepies
The Fleet Foxes
Bon Iver
Jon Foreman
Denison Witmer
Kings of Leon
Important voices in my life in 2008:
Mom and Dad
John Piper
Rob Bell
Mark Driscoll
Kay Bruce
Gerry Breshears
Jonathan Davenport
Brandon Brown
Chris Sloan
Chris Morris
Brian haitz
I don’t know what the next year has in store. No idea. Scars me like nothing else. But I know that’s ok now. I trust in the God who is in control of everything and everybody.
Lamentations 3:25
The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
Grace and Peace,
Jesse P.
1 comment:
it makes me happy to hear you're doing well. despite the feirce changes, and new life, you sound like you're remainging the positive heart i knew and still love. every once in awhile i think of a specific camp memory. i don't remember what year it was, what counselor we had, or if we were in a cabin together (i'm guessing we most likely were). we all had to memorise scriptures for some competition. it was some part of joel 2 including verse 28.
"It will come about after this
That I will pour out
My Spirit on all mankind;
And your sons and daughters will prophesy,
Your old men will dream dreams,
Your young men will see visions."
anyways, that always stuck out in my mind and what you said about your dreams made me think of that verse.
also, that question i asked myself was actually my church's moto of sorts. "inviting you to become who God created you to be". i had been thinking about what it means and exactly who God is calling me to be. figured i'd start with who i am already. since He's been screaming at me for the past couple years now. maybe it's time to be quite now and listen...
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